The Big Game is tomorrow, but since you're a lady type, nobody expects you to actually pay attention to the football part. You'll be watching for the funny commercials, the opportunity to bask in Beyoncé's glory for 20 minutes, and, of course, to get attention from your bf and his friends even though there's a chance--like last year--you'll drive them insane because Chad went to school with the quarterback of the red team and wants "TO WATCH THE DAMN GAME SO SHUT UP, CHARLOTTE!" Most of the country will be planning their Super Bowl parties based on this philosophy: "What goes better with capitalism, pop music, and watching grown men pummel each other than saturated fat?" UH-OH! You gotta stay slim, sweetie, or else your bestie will start dropping hints about the muffin top peeking over your True Religions! (Don't want the club manager Alessondra to spread nasty rumors that you're preggers again either.) Luckily I've got a few tips on how to make healthy, low-cal/low-fat/low-carb, high-protein, high-fiber, omega 3 fatty acid-rich, organic contributions to your SuperB party menu.
And now for some totally yummy recipes & their healthy makeovers!!!
The original recipe calls for frozen tater tots, Tabasco sauce, cheddar cheese, and bacon. If you're watching your figure (Uhhh, always!), use:
10 small cubes of
10 strips of
Sprinkle sea salt over brussel sprouts, then layer with succulent oxygen. The smug satisfaction really gives it a kick of flavor, as the other girls at the party stare enviously at you for being so disciplined!
Can't deal with the jiggle that corn chips, beans, and hot sauce will inevitably add to your hips in the postseason? Check out the totally do-able substitutions I've provided:
Replace all ingredients with nothing. (If the bad food isn't on your plate, you won't eat it! Genius, huh?) But if you want to indulge a little, throw in a half a banana too. ;) Try not to think about all 13.5 grams of carbs you're consuming. Treat yourself, girl!
This one's a toughie. These bad boys are sooo good, you'll look like Khloe K. by the end of the night if you're not careful! (And then you'll need to marry a super-sized NBA player like Lamar to make you look smaller.) Here's a foolproof formula for taming your tastebuds:
1/2 cup A
1/3 cup C
1 cup S
1/2 stick of U
2 large fresh
1/4 cup Nutella (nobody would dare replace Nutella with anything)
If the brownies are physically painful to consume, you'll eat less of them. Ta-da!
Hope you enjoyed my tasty tips for this SuperB Sunday. Have fun cooing "awww, is he okayyy?" every time a player gets hurt, asking "whaaat? what's happening?" every time a referee says anything, and loudly admiring Beyoncé's physical traits, hoping that your bf will assure you that you're prettier.
*FYI: If any of the above recipes (not the parody ones, I hope) sound amazing to you, you can find them here!