I hate this election.
First of all, a little background information: I do not
belong to a political party. I’m registered to vote as a Non Affiliate. People
in fairly conservative southern Nevada consider me—as I was known to some
people in high school—“a hippie.” People at the bleeding-heart liberal
University of Oregon pretty much consider me Rush Limbaugh.
So in general, I’d say I’m pretty moderate when it comes to
politics. On some issues I lean to the right, and on others (probably a slight
majority) to the left. Unlike my cocky teenage years, nowadays I’m way more
interested in reading and listening to what others have to say about politics
than stating opinions myself. I like debates—legitimate, formal debates—in
which intelligent people with different points of view talk about the issues
facing our world. I get excited about politics, and I’ve always been that way.
But for some reason, this year’s election has consistently
been bringing my blood to a boiling point. For weeks I wasn’t able to figure
out why, until I realized the culprit…
Facebook.
Here we go…ladies and gentlemen, I hate to break it to you,
but Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both just dudes. Trust me on this. It’s
cool that Obama likes Jay-Z. I would probably hang out with him, but I don’t
think he’s been a very impressive president. And Romney is weird and aloof in
interviews but he seems nice enough, I guess. Like an overly friendly neighbor
that’s always inviting you over for a traditional Mormon Jell-O-based salad. I
have no doubt that each of them will try his best to do a good job as President—it
always amuses me when people accuse presidents of deliberately trying to
“destroy America,” like that makes even a shred of sense—but he’ll be chewed up and spat out by the media and by other
branches of government just like the last 43 have. By no means am I enamored by either
of these men and their platforms—in fact, they’ve both sold their souls to Super
PACs anyway—but I’m just saying, I kinda feel for the next guy who has volunteered to be
burned in effigy around the world.
I know it sounds like I am oversimplifying this issue, but
unfortunately, I have lost faith in many components of our political system and
don’t have total confidence that either candidate can change it on his or her own. I
look back at all the juvenile things I said about George W. Bush (because I
was, well, an actual juvenile when he was in office) and the foolish excitement
I had when Obama got elected and shake my head. In many ways I feel like the presidential races the two-party system gives us are consistently just choices between the lesser of
two mediocres. But that’s a whole different post…
You can see why I struggle to identify with people who
believe that if one candidate gets elected over the other then America will
burst into flames and we’ll either go 300 years back in time or become a
Communist state. Many of my friends and relatives are all frothing at the mouth
over this election, not only constantly plugging their own candidate choice but
(more often) viciously demonizing his opposition. Most of this, I realized, is
taking place on Facebook. It’s gotten to the point where every time I log in, I
brace myself for a flood of melodramatic, patronizing propaganda from both my
liberal and conservative friends. (I just want to talk about football and look
at memes in peace, people!!!) But why is talking politics on Facebook so
bothersome?
Because your Facebook friends added you because they are
involved in your life at some level, because they want a forum in which to be
notified about good or bad news you may want to share, because they have made
some sort of real-life investment in you. Think of all the types of people you
have on your friends list: relatives old and young, co-workers, teammates, new
friends you don’t know much about, old friends you know too much about, that weird guy in your dorm, old babysitters,
bosses, neighbors, hairdressers, doctors, that chick you don’t actually like
but her life is such a hot mess that you don’t delete her just for the
entertainment, etc. But think deeper than that; all of your friends are
different and have different value systems. Some may be on welfare. Some may
have been ripped off by the government. Some may have been raped. Some may have
been falsely accused of rape. Some have had their faith in God broken, or never
had it at all. Some are deeply religious. The list goes on and on.
Imagine your list of Facebook friends as a banquet hall
filled with people. Would you, assuming you are not completely socially
retarded (in that case, please stop reading this because it is a pointless
exercise), waltz into that banquet hall and announce, “PAUL RYAN IS GOING TO
FORCIBLY IMPREGNATE EVERY WOMAN, AND MITT ROMNEY WILL BRAINWASH THOSE CHILDREN
INTO JOINING MORMONISM!!! VOTE OBAMA 2012!” or, “OBAMA WANTS TO SEIZE ALL OF
YOUR WEAPONS, ENSLAVE WHITE PEOPLE, AND HOUSE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS IN OUR
HOMES!!! VOTE ROMNEY 2012!”
Think about it…we all behave differently in different social
situations. There’s a reason you don’t talk about politics (or religion or sex,
as the saying goes) at a dinner party: You don’t truly know your audience. You
don’t know who you might be offending by spouting your mouth on “how it oughta
be.” You can’t know that someone, who just wants to know a little about you and
your life, shares your view of the world and won’t be disgusted by your
audacity for a reason that you just can’t know. Don’t preach about your
values—liberal or conservative—in a forum where they don’t belong. Don’t put
others in that position where they end up resenting you for the things you say.
Just worry about yourself! Be nice to people, study the candidates, vote for
who you like, and then shut up. Let the candidates and their staffs campaign
for themselves; that’s not your job, all you’re doing is riling everyone up.
(And probably making them disagree with you more.)
In summary, if you post about your political views on
Facebook, you are rude. I hoped I have adequately explained why. So many of my
friends have picked up this habit that, starting September 8, I’m steering
clear of my account until the election is over—unless I get my Peace Corps assignment, find
a really funny meme to light up y’all’s day, or if Oregon beats USC so I can
brag (hey, a girl can dream). If you want to keep in touch, follow me on Twitter or, I dunno, CALL OR TEXT ME ON THE TELEPHONE DEVICE like a normal
person.
Speaking of which, my advice to people who DO want to
express their political views online: get a Twitter account! Twitter is
amazing; it is like Facebook but faster, more global, and—best of all—less
personal. I don’t know half the people that follow me; they follow me because
they like the stuff I say. Anyone who doesn’t like the stuff I say doesn’t have
to follow me, unlike the unspoken stigma that it’s impolite not to Facebook-friend
someone you know in real life.
Or better yet, get A BLOG so you can rant
in as many characters as you want! :)
Happy politicking, everyone.
